FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions - Professionals
Physical punishment is any act intended to cause physical discomfort or pain to correct or control a child’s behavior. Under the laws of most states, physical punishment is considered abusive when it causes injury to the child. In most cases, physical punishment and physical abuse are not different behaviors. Rather, they are just lighter and harder forms of hitting and hurting children. Any time an adult physically punishes a child, there is a chance that the child will be injured. The distinction between physical punishment and physical abuse is actually arbitrary. Often, it is a matter of chance that the child is injured.
The purpose of physical punishment is to cause the child physical pain. In studies asking children about the experience, they have said things like:
“It hurts you all over” (Dobbs, Smith, & Taylor, 2006).
“It really, really hurts” (Saunders & Goddard, 2010, p. 152).
“It’s like being squashed” (Saunders & Goddard, 2010, p. 153).
It can even be more painful emotionally. Emotional hurt may be harder for parents to see, but it is real and can have long-term impacts on children’s mental and behavioral health.
“Spanking doesn’t solve anything. It just makes you cry” (Vittrup & Holden, 2010, p. 215).
A 12-year-old said, “Being smacked is like being treated like something very little and not important to the rest of the world” (Saunders & Goddard, 2008, p. 413).
A 7-year-old said, “You feel you don’t like your parents anymore” (Willow & Hyder, 1998, p. 47)
Another 7-year-old said, “You [feel] sort of as though you want to run away because they’re sort of like being mean to you and it hurts a lot” (Willow & Hyder, 1998, p. 47).
Parents have both a right and an obligation to teach their children right from wrong, and how to treat other people with fairness and empathy. Physical punishment does not actually teach these things. It can make children afraid to be honest when they make mistakes, and it can teach them that hitting other people is ok. It can damage the trust that children have in their parents. Because of this, many parents feel very badly after they hurt their children and they want to find better ways to teach their children important values.
Your parents probably spanked you because they thought it was the best way to teach you. Today, there is a large amount of research showing that physical punishment (including spanking) can lead to mental health problems (anxiety, depression), difficult parent-child relationships, increased aggression, anti-social behavior, slower intellectual development, low academic performance and possible brain impairment. Not every child is harmed by physical punishment – just as not everyone who smokes cigarettes gets cancer. But physical punishment has never been shown to improve children’s well-being – just as placing a child in a car without a seatbelt does not make them safer.
Researchers have learned so much over the past few decades about what children need to thrive and what puts them at risk for harm. Just a generation ago, many parents let children ride in cars without seatbelts and many parents spanked their children. Now we know these are risky things to do. Just because our parents did them, that does not mean we should repeat the mistake. They did the best they could. Now our children can benefit from all that we have learned since then. We now know how to teach children effectively without harming
Researchers across the US and all over the world have found that physical punishment can lead to harm regardless of the cultural context. They also shown that all children learn best when they are not afraid of being hurt. In some places, physical punishment has become a tradition, handed down across generations. Most traditions are important to maintain because they preserve cultural knowledge and values. Physical punishment does not pass on unique cultural knowledge and it can be harmful. This recognition has led many cultures around the world to end this practice.
There are religious texts that are interpreted by some clergy, theologians and religious scholars as requiring parents to physically punish their children. But there are many who disagree with those interpretations. Most parents want their children to learn the morals and standards consistent with their faith. Most parents also want the best for their children, not to cause them harm. Both of these objectives can be met with positive parenting techniques that teach children effectively and do not harm them.
Many parents stop using physical punishment when they realize that physical punishment can cause harm even when it is mild and infrequent. Research from around the world shows that whenever parents purposely hurt children, it has a negative effect on the child’s mental health and on the parent-child relationship. In some cases, even one slap can cause damage to the child’s trust that is hard to repair.
Research shows that children tend to mistrust and avoid parents who use physical punishment because they quickly become afraid of being hurt. When children are afraid, they are less likely to hear what their parents are telling them, which interferes with their learning. They are also more likely to start lying to avoid punishment, which damages the relationship further.
Unfortunately, this is not the case. Researchers have found that parental warmth does not counteract the negative effects of physical punishment. Children can be very confused when they are hurt by someone expressing love to them. This experience can teach them that we express love by hurting others, which is not a lesson that we want them to learn.
It is true that some schools in the U.S. allow children to be hit or paddled to punish them. However, most schools have banned this practice. Whether physical punishment is done in the school or home, the effects are the same – it can lead to mental health problems, slower intellectual development, low academic achievement and increased aggression and behavior problems. Most adults (72%) in the U.S. do not approve of physical punishment in the schools (ABC News Poll, October 2018).
No. In fact, physical punishment does not improve children’s behavior over time – it actually increases children’s aggression and behavior problems. This is probably because it provides a model of the behavior that we do not want them to learn. It also can lead to pent-up anger that is released on other children. There are much more effective ways to teach children what we do want them to learn.
Frequently Asked Questions - Parents
Physical punishment is any act intended to cause physical discomfort or pain to correct or control a child’s behavior. Under the laws of most states, physical punishment is considered abusive when it causes injury to the child. In most cases, physical punishment and physical abuse are not different behaviors. Rather, they are just lighter and harder forms of hitting and hurting children. Any time an adult physically punishes a child, there is a chance that the child will be injured. The distinction between physical punishment and physical abuse is actually arbitrary. Often, it is a matter of chance that the child is injured. Most of what we call ‘physical abuse’ is physical punishment.
In 2016, a meta-analysis was published that was based on more than 75 studies conducted over 50 years that involved 160,927 children (Gershoff & Grogan-Kaylor, 2016). This meta-analysis found that even normative ‘spanking’ is reliably associated with higher levels of child aggression, antisocial behavior, and mental health problems; lower levels of self-esteem and academic performance; and poorer relationships with parents. Prospective studies that follow children over time consistently show that spanking increases behavior problems as children grow older. Experimental studies have shown that children’s behavior improves after parents stop using physical punishment.
Researchers across the US and all over the world have found that physical punishment can lead to harm regardless of the cultural context. They also have shown that all children learn best when they are not afraid of being hurt. In some places, physical punishment has become a tradition, handed down across generations. Most traditions are important to maintain because they preserve cultural knowledge and values. Physical punishment does not pass on unique cultural knowledge and it can be harmful. This recognition has led many cultures around the world to end this practice. These include countries in South America, Africa, Europe and Asia.
In many cultures, physical punishment is a lasting legacy of oppression, slavery and colonization. It did not exist in many Indigenous cultures before they were colonized. Over time, it became normalized within those cultures. In many Indigenous cultures, people are reclaiming their traditional approaches to parenting, which were based on modelling, storytelling, and including children in the work of the community.
There are religious texts that are interpreted by some clergy, theologians and religious scholars as requiring parents to physically punish their children. But there are many who disagree with those interpretations. Most parents want their children to learn the morals and standards consistent with their faith. Most parents also want the best for their children, not to cause them harm. Both of these objectives can be met with positive parenting techniques that teach children effectively and do not harm them.
US laws have not caught up with research findings. Many professional organizations in the US and other countries recommend that parents not use physical punishment because it puts children at risk for harm. These include the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children, and National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Laws that allow corporal punishment do make it harder for professionals to give a clear message to parents. But it’s very important that parents understand the many harms to which it can lead. When they understand its impact, they can make a more informed decision.
First, it’s important that you feel knowledgeable about the research. You can read some key studies here. Second, it helps to remember that most parents really love their children and want them to grow up happy and healthy. When they realize that corporal punishment is actually harmful to their children’s development, they are likely to want to make a change. Third, it’s important to read about positive discipline approaches based on neuroscience, emotion coaching, and collaborative problem-solving. These approaches are based on knowing how children’s brains, emotions and behavior develop over time. Fourth, be aware of the parenting programs in your area that promote healthy development and strong relationships instead of punishment.
Consider learning motivational interviewing techniques, which can strengthen parents’ motivation to change.
Physical punishment is a risk factor. This means not everyone is harmed by getting hit as a child, just like not everyone who smokes will get cancer. The more a parent spanks, the higher the risk—just like those who smoke more have a higher risk of getting cancer. Researchers who study child development have learned so much over the past several decades about what children need to thrive and what puts them at risk for harm. Behaviors parents may have done a generation ago, such as spanking or letting children ride in cars without seatbelts, are now known to be risky. Just because our parents engaged in them, that does not mean we should repeat the mistake. They did the best they could with the information they had at the time—our children can benefit from the decades of research since when you grew up.
We are mandated to report so that we can help prevent future harm to children. It’s very important to understand what’s going on in the home to safeguard children and to help parents become better parents. Many parents disclose abusive behavior because they want help. You can approach this conversation in a supportive way, letting the parent know that you are obligated to get them the help they need and ensure the child is safe. If you think that the parent is motivated to change and is receiving help, you can advocate for them.